You’re back in Whitestone. There’s no fanfare, it’s nothing like last time. You walk right into the complex, there’s no mist and no one stops you on your way in.
Oh, there are people around, but they look ragged. You’re just thankful that they’re here at all.
As eager as you are to see your sister again, you have to stop somewhere else, before you can.
( I know, you tell Trelle, you want to see her, I know, but we have to see if we’re even welcome here first…)
The atmosphere is entirely different from last time. No one leads you in, you knock, you hear, on the other side of the door, Brall says, “Enter”
You open the door, and don’t make eye contact with him until you’re standing right by his desk and everyone is standing behind you.
He says, “Orem, what a surprise”
Though by his tone of voice you’d guess he’s not surprised, at all.
You nod at him. And you say, “We need your help”
He raises his eyebrows- and stays silent. That’s as much of a signal that you’re getting that he’s willing to listen, you know.
So you explain, as best you can, about Spud, about your plan to stop him and why you need his help. Randus gives him all the data he had been able to gather about Spud’s device.
Brall looks it over, nods. He says, “I’ll see what I can do”
He’s willing to help, and dismissing you in the same phrase. You bow, say, “Thank you”
The others get the hint, and follow you out.
-
You get the same rooms you had, last time. You guess you’re surprised to be given rooms at all.
Kammis meets you in yours, first, and you smile and touch foreheads and you ask her out its been here and she grimaces, says, “Oh, it’s been fun” in the most sarcastic tone of voice you think you’ve ever heard.
Then you walk over with her to other other room where she greets Trelle.What the do to greet each other you can’t say. You don’t look.
-
You stay up late into the night, talking to her, she tells you about how its been here- (not fun,she says, especially not since the wierds started showing up)and you tell her about the adventure you had to go through to come back.
Once during her own story she sighs, says, “They keep trying to set me up with- oh they call them eligible young bachelors but, you know…”
She looks at Trelle, grabs her hand.
She says, “Actually, I’ve been thinking. I really do feel like I need to tell them about us”
Trelle gasps happily.
And then Kammis says, “I’m afraid to do it on my own, though. You know how they are”
You do know ho they are, but you do don’t know what she means.
Then she says, “I was thinking, if we’re both dating people they don’t approve of, it won’t be so bad…”
The room suddenly seems very quiet. You say, “What?”
She says, “Not for real, just while you’re here!”
Torq laughs.
You say, “I don’t know, that plan sounds kind of…”
And she says, “Please”
She’s honestly scared of them, of what they’ll do. You guess you would be, too.
You sigh.
You think, of the three of them, they approve of Randus the most, in some strange way. You don’t think Torq would agree, and even if he did that he would be convincing. Which leaves…
“Ket”
Oh, you can practically hear the smugness dripping from his voice when he says, “Uh huh?”
You’d like nothing more than to punch him in the face, right now. You’re going to try extra hard to make this believable.
You say, “I’ll pay you”
-
So Kammis goes in holding Trelle’s hand and you go in holding Ket’s and mostly you let her do all the talking.
Both you and Ket manage to keep your faces blank the whole time.
Your parents don’t have much to say beyond, “Very well, then”
Then your mother and father stare at the four of you in silence until each of the four of you bows stiffly and leaves.
When you’re all outside and the door closes you all sigh.
Kammis says, ‘the hard part is over, I think”
Ket shoots back , “for you, maybe. We have to keep this up until we leave”
Then he lets go of your hand.
-
The two of have to compromise a lot on how its going to work.
You hold hands sometimes, but not too often because you wouldn’t even if you were dating and you want to make it seem real.
Ket stands closer to you than you’re used to and when you ask why says that its a body language thing, and would you stop looking so stiff its kinda ruining what I’m going for, here.
The first real issue you have is when its time to rest. You both know what will look more convincing, and neither of you want to say it.
He’s in your room, arms crossed. He says, “So, should I sleep on the floor?”
And you hear yourself say, “No, it’ll seem wrong if someone comes in”
He says, “So, in the same bed,then?”
You pull a face and say, “I guess so”
Unfortunately the only way for the both of you to fit in your bed comfortably and without touching too much is with his head in your lap.
He complains , says, “Your legs are too bony, I ought to make you pay me extra for this”
You say, “I’m not comfortable either, and be quiet”
You’re fairy certain he’s faking sleep, but at least he’s quiet.
-
On your third day there you get an invitation, for you and guests to come to this banquet.
Kammis is invited in much the same way.
You’re mad, there’s no time to be wasting on stuff like this and you don’t know what they’re trying to pull.
Either way, you have to get Ket dressed up in fancy clothes.
“This” he insists, “You are paying extra for”
You bring him, Kammis brings Trelle.
It’s much the same as last time, the same people, same cold atmosphere.
Except this time there’s dancing. And your father isn’t even there.
But your mother is there. You expect Brall will hear about it if you don’t dance.
You were never very good at this, and Ket doesn’t know the steps.
Though, at least you don’t seem to be doing as bad as Trelle and Kammis are. They attract more stares than you do.
You dance. Ket almost trips on the end of his robes a few times and the two of you stay close the whole evening.
It’s awful.
-
That night he puts his head in your lap without a single complaint and goes to sleep without saying a word.
You’d never really payed attention before, but Ket seems awfully troubled when he sleeps
-
You go to the library.
You’re looking for rituals. Normally you would never bring Ket along, and you don’t really want to bring him because you’d like some time to yourself.
As it is, you go together because, as far as you can tell that’s what people would expect.
The book you’re looking for winds up being in the most unorganized part of the library. The both of you are shoved up pretty close between the shelves.
You hear the footsteps at the same time. Both of you freeze up.
Ket suddenly gets a mean looking smile on his face. He whispers, “You want to make this really convincing?”
The moment Ket kisses you is the same moment that Illiam peeks around the corner of the shelf.
He doesn’t pull away until Illiam squeaks, “Oh! Sorry for interrupting, I- I’ll just go”
You have to live with his smirk in silence, until you hear a door shut somewhere. Then you jab him in the chest wth the corner of the book you were holding and say in the loud whisper , “What was that?”
He look so pleased with himself. He says, “Convincing, is what it was”
“To who? You think Illiam is going to tell my father?”
You hit him with the book until he says, “Sorry, ouch, sorry. ”
At least you can at least pass your blushing as embarrassment for being caught rather than embarrassment for it happening at all.
-
On the fifth night someone comes to your door. They have a message from your father.
He wants to speak with you. Only you.
You bow to the messenger, tell him,”I’ll meet him shortly. Just give me a moment to get ready”
You’re a grown man. You’ve fought gods, stopped the void. And your father still has the power to make you a nervous wreck.
Ket sits up as, watching silently as you brush your hair. The expression on your face is pained. You know it is.
You change your robe. Around the thousandth time you’ve smoothed out the wrinkles Ket is suddenly there with his hand on your shoulder saying calm down, calm down. When you give him this incredulous look he looks you right in the eye, puts his other hand on your should, touches your forehead. He says , “It can’t go any worse than last time, can it? He’s probably just going to tell you when he’ll be done. Calm down”
Calm is quite the word. You can’t quite reach calm but you reach calm enough. You relax your face into a blank slate, stop shaking.
It can’t go worse, right?
-
You meet him on the same balcony.
He’s as stiff as ever.
He says, “We’re all glad to see that you’re still alive”
OK. Not what you expected to hear.
He never says that he was wrong, and he never apologizes, but up there on the balcony he comes the closest you’ve ever heard. He says that no, you can’t leave Spud alone like he wanted to do with the Lords of the Faywild. That, assuming nothing else goes wrong, he should be done sometime tomorrow.
He looks tired, you realize. He must not be meditating.
You bow to him, deeper than you think you have in a long time.
You say, “Thank you”
But as you turn to go he stops you. He says, “On more thing”
He says, “I suspect you know that me and your mother don’t approve of you or Kammis’s choice of partner.”
You both are silent for a long moment, then he continues, “but you’re adults now and if he makes you happy, then so be it”
The he turns away. The conversation is over.
That… went far better than you expected.
-
When you get back the the room and tell Ket what happened his first question is, “So, we can stop now??
You tell him, “No. We don’t have to try so hard but I don’t want them to find out that we’ve been lying. Not after that.”
Ket sighs and drops his head back into your lap.
-
Later that night there’s a knock on your door. Ket doesn’t move, you guess he’s already asleep
Before you can call out the person on the other side open the door. It’s your mother.
She bows her head at you and you get the point, that she wants to talk.
Its kind of a shame to move Ket when you stand – you think this is the most solid sleep he’s gotten since this started- the stare his gives you when you push his head off of you is the nothing but ill-temper.
This is a bit more important than that, though.
You stand with Althea in that darkened hallway.
She’s worried. And for once she’s actually showing it
She says so, too. She says that she’s worried, and Kammis and yes, your father, too, and please, when you go, be safe.
She pull you down until your forehead touch and stand like that, eyes closed, for a long while. Its the closest you’ve been with your mother since long before you went to the Cerulean Academy.
You realize distantly that you’re taller than her, now.
Then she lets you go, takes your hand in yours and bows her head and you bow yours back and she’s as distant as she’s ever been.
When you go back into the room it’s on wobbling legs. Your throat is tight and you know exactly why.
You’re scared- you lost everything once and this time it could happen again, for good.
You’re crying, no sobbing or sniffling, there’s just tears and your hands clenched in your lap.
You’re scared.
At some point Ket moves, sits next to you with his hand on your back and you lean on him. He doesn’t say a word.
And when you stop crying his hand slips off your back and you move back to where you were before your mother came.
You end up sleeping like normal.
-
Early morning the next day, and you’re leaving.
Brall hands you the crystal, a fist sized green thing, and not terribly elegant. He says all you have to do it touch it to him and it should weaken him immensely, assuming the notes he was given were correct.
And, he says, other than that, try to his that cold iron on his arm with some solid fire, and that should weaken him, too.
Then that’s it- Kammis is still staying, and her and Trelle share a big kiss right there. You don’t say anything, you don’t, because that’s what this was all for, wasn’t it? So they could do this?
You and Ket share a look. He looks amused.
You end up holding hands all the way out of Whitestone
-
When you can’t see the complex anymore you give him his money, which he takes with a smrik. It isn’t a lot given everything but its a sizable chunk out of what you could consider ‘yours’.
It seems like he immediately starts walking farther away from you.
After that you focus on him maybe a bit too much.
You realize only now that he’d been sort of kind of smiling at you this whole time and it’s all very strange to see him with his normal poker face again. He doesn’t even glance at you as often.
So thats what he had meant by body language.
And to be able to go back to normal so fast.
-
It hurts,for some reason, leaves a strange hollow pit in your stomach .
You find that you’re meditating on that more than you are on Spud.
You watch him. He still sleeps uneasily, maybe even more-so than before.
You think, it was strange, how nice it was to have someone that close to you, even if it was Ket and you wonder about those other moments, where he comforted you but didn’t have to, when no one but the two of you was there.
Does he care, at all? Its hard to know.
What you do know is that you have a problem now. A crush, so to speak.
You’re especially thankful that when you remember the kiss he gave you in the library that you’re on watch and alone because you think you blush evenmore now that you realize, it was good. The best kiss you can remember getting.
It was nice having someone close for a change. You didn’t think at the time that you’d miss having a head in your lap, but you do.
You hate that you do, but you do.
You know everyone can see how crabby are about it , too. You can only hope they think it’s about something else
-
So now its just a straight shot to Spud.
This is ridiculous, how romantically frustrated you get now, just looking at Ket.
You’re marching off to your death and all you can think about is getting kissed, for real, before then.
(You’ve even considered asking Randus for something that could make you stop thinking about it, but that would require you having to reveal what you’re trying not to think about and you’d rather let Spud get you, first.)
It had to be ket.
-
You’re sick of it. You’re going to get your kiss.
Even…
Even if its like this.
It’s wrong, you know, he’s asleep, and you can’t just kiss someone while they’re asleep, but you’re certainly not going to do it when he’s awake.
You wait until he seems as close to sound asleep as he gets,lean over him…
It’s nothing more than a light brush of the lips, nothing like what you reallywanted but-
oh
As you lean back you hear, “Hm” and your heart freezes. He openes one eye, pushes himself up on an elbow.
He’s smiling in a way you can’t read.
You feel the heat crawl up your face and to the tip of your ears.
He says, “I’m a much better kisser when I’m awake, you know’
Your heart seems incredibly loud and when he sits up he seems incredibly close, and- oh-
The kiss he gives you is slow and sleepy and deep and yes, even better than the one he gave you in the library.
You kiss back. This is what you wanted.
Though your face somehow is even more red, afterward, and Ket is still smirking at you.
You don’t confess your feelings or or anything like that. You don’t know exactly what you’d confess. What you do is say, a with a bit to much stutter and a bit too loud is, ” want you to sleep in my lap, again”
He chuckles at you, but he does.
Soundly, too.
-
You’re holding hands , walking to your deaths ,and now there’s butterflies in your stomach for an entirely different, better, reason.
You ask him then,” how do you really feel, then? You normally don’t act like you care at all, and how you acted in Whitestone was nice, but…”
And he says, “You’ve got it backwards.”
He says, “Back there I was able to act more like I wanted than I have in a long time. It’s when I have to act like I don’t care when I’m hiding anything”
That makes you pause. You ask him, “How long have you been hiding, then?”
He chuckles, kisses your temple and says, “too long. To be honest I should have been the one paying you”